A Sign Among Us - Chapter 2 - A Mighty Man

Arrows

"Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate' Psalm 127

'...As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man...' A mighty man is a warrior. Warriors are we in a battle? You bet we are. The world is against us. Satan is against us. Can we be the men, husbands and parents by our own strengths? The Lord wants us to be the balanced, teaching, loving parents and friends spoken about in scriptures. What should we do?

Let's talk about this arrow that's mentioned here. It is talking about children and the awesome responsibility we have as archers. Arrows don't occur naturally in nature. Branches don't grow perfectly straight in nature and arrows need to be shaped.

The responsibility of those arrows is in the hands of the archer. When the dad shoots straight the kids hit the mark. It is up to the archer, the mighty man and yes, some times the target is moving, sometimes the wind is blowing. It is still up to the Atcher to compensate for those difficulties. He needs to be skilled enough to be aware of those distractions.

We already said the world and Satan are against us. With all the immorality of the world, don't you wish the world had more to offer, where you could say, 'yes' to our children once in a while? What is the world telling us? 'It's OK, they are just holding hands...It's OK they are just hugging... It's OK they are just kissing... It's OK they are just going to the drive in movies... NO!'

Who's In Charge

When our fifth child, Jordan was born, Becky was scheduled to have a cesarean. We knew the day the baby was to be born; we even know it would be in the morning. Becky even had some flexibility in finalizing the baby's birthday. She had the baby be born a little early so his birthday was not too close to a sibling's.

That is where the choices ended. Those were the extent of the choices able to be made, and I didn't even have a dominant say in them. Then it was the morning of May 28th. I was going to help. I was the only person allowed to accompany my wife into the delivery room. I was all suited up and waiting. As the Doctor was putting on his knee high rubber boots he was making some small talk with me, trying to make me feel at ease.

When it was time they called me into the room. There was about eight people in that room already. There was also a blue tent around my wife. They ushered me in and pointed to the stool I was to sit on, positioned to my wife's side. When I sat down she was already temporarily paralyzed from the neck down. As I sat down with a big, excited and anxious smile on my face I saw her tears. I saw the fear in her face. She is a woman of great faith, and was fighting the natural human emotions she posesses. Then I got scared. What can I do to help? I am to protect her. I am to meet her needs. There was nothing I could do. All I could do is rub her cheek, tell her I love her and pray.

I was not in charge. I was not helping. I was probably in the way. I have been in the room when natural childbirth was going on. I had seen the television programs when other men's wiver were going through this procedure. I knew what to expect. Becky had me watch the programs where doctors were performing cesarean births. I watched. But I didn't care about those women on T.V. I knew they were going to be OK. I also knew that I was not going to see the actual operation. I was going to stay near my wife's face and be with the baby after.

I learned all about fear of the unknown. I have to trust you Lord. I have to trust you Lord to work through these Doctors. Lord, I have to trust you will comfort my wife. Lord, I have to trust you with the baby's health. Lord, I have to trust you to get me through this. What could I do? I did all I could do. Pray and wait for the Lord.

The baby is fine, Becky is fine. '...oh ye of little faith...'

We are so helpless on our own. It is up to us to do what the Lord asks. He will produce the results. Quite often we expect different results. I don't deserve my children. They are the Lord's. But you know what, the Lord allowed me to have them. He allows me to watch over them. He wants me to train them and I pray, 'Lord, you love them more than I ever could. Lord, please love them unconditionally through me. Allow them to feel your love through me. Lord, allow them to se a little bit of you through me.'

If ther is a thousand dollars worth of toys on one side of the room and a dad on the other side giving piggy back rides, the child will take the piggy back ride every time.

'Let your light si shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.' Matthew 5:16

Moment of Trust

How did I get saved? Did I get saved by myself? No - someone invited me. Someone invited me that I was a friend with. His wife looked up to him. His children listened to him. His work was going good. I wanted to learn what he knew. But you know what, I didn't want to be in the room at that time. I didn't want to be at the Wooster Centrum on a Sunday morning. On May 16th 1994. I didn't want to be there. But someone invited me. 'Let your light so shine before men...' Someone else's did, and I wanted what they had. I don't know what it was but I needed it.

The man on stage was Phil Driscol. I was in an arena with five thousand people I didn't know. It felt like he was speaking directly to me. He let me know that I can't do it alone. He knew that I was trying to be a better father and wasn't getting any better. He knew that I was trying to be a better husband and wasn't getting any better. My health wasn't getting any better neither were my relationships with others. He also knew about my lack of growth at work. He knew my finances were getting worse. He admitted that I was trying hard to get better on my own. He also let me know that I couldn't do it alone. He continued to let me know that no self-help book and no man could totally help me. He let me know that only God could truly help me. He let me know that God wanted to help me, and that Jesus loves me. He assured me that God has a plan to help me with all these areas in need of repair.

I'm Thankful That Someone Invited Me

You know who else is thankful. Becky, Jennifer, Cody, Autumn, Becca & Jordan. I also believe Jennifer's friend Lindsay is thankful when she was saved one Friday. Cody's friend Corey I am sure is thankful. My brother Josh and some foster children who visited with us are also thankful.

Does the world want us to be the men the Lord wants us to be? Look at the television commercials. The Dad is usually riding in the passenger seat, as Mom drives. The Dad is not respected by his children rof advice and on and on it goes. The world is against Fathers.

Have you ever driven by a Movie Theater at 10:00 on a Friday night. It breaks my heart. When those kids are out there, unsupervised, doing what ever they want. Even doing what ever they don't want to do. Doing what their friends want them to do. We need to reach them. We need to reach their parents. I'm sure those parents love their children. They don't know how. They want to love their children more. They don't know how.

'When you get kids you don't get an instruction book. We did the best we could.' The Lord did give us an instruction book. I pray our light will shine.

A Normal Family

A normal family wants to visit the children's grandparents more often, but can't seem to find the time. A normal family wants to go on a camping trip each summer, and forgot to plan it properly and commit to going next year. A normal family wants to sit together every night for dinner, and does so approximately one night a week. A normal family believes watching television together is acceptable for quality time, but eventually wants to start a tradition, like making Tuesday evening a night of playing board games. A normal family generatem more income than their parents, and still rents rather than owns their own home.

The father of a normal family wants to drink less, but falls back on the fact that he drinks less than his father did every night. The father of a normal family knows he spends too much time away at work, but justifies it by saying his paycheck gives them this lifestyle. The father of a normal family wants to do more around the house, but feels too burdened by the thought of taking that first step. The father of a normal family wishes his wife would do more around the house, but can't say anything because the cars are still overdue for an oil change. The father of a normal family knows he has to talk to his daughter about the birds and the beed but will wait until tomorrow.

The mother of a normal family knows she needs to quit smoking, but she is afraid it will make her put on weight. The mother of a normal family wants to have more time for herself, but is afraid she may feel guilty. The mother of a normal family loves cooking dinner for her family, and doesn't want to have to ask everyone to say, 'Thank you.' The mother of a normal family wants her daughter to help her with dinner, because she wants to, not because she feel like she has to. The mother of a normal family wishes she didn't have to go to work in the morning.

The parent's of a normal family do not want their children to struggle as they did, and hope they can still be as strong as they are without those struggles.

The daughter of a normal family wishes she could give her daddy a kiss in public. The daughter of a normal family wishes her friends didn't have their first kiss yet, so she wouldn't feel the pressure of having to. The daughter of a normal family wants to ask her father about boys, but wishes he would approach her first. The daughter of a normal family wishes she could call her mother her best friend.

The son of a normal family knows he is not supposed to cry, and has never been toly why. The son of a normal family wants to protect his little sister, but doesn't want to get laughed at by his friends. The son of a normal family promises he will never grow up to be like his father. The son of a normal family wish he could give his daddy a kiss in public.

The normal family has goals and dreams. The normal family is torn between the family they are and the family they want to be. The normal family wishes they had more friends. The normal family knows they should start going to church, and only wishes someone would invite them.

Signed,
... a normal father of a normal family


next chapter