Communicating God's Way - Lesson 4 - Communication Expectations

Expectations of Ourselves

Stephen Hawking is an astrophysicist at Cambridge University and perhaps the most intelligent man on earth. He has advanced the general theory of relativity farther than any person since Albert Einstein. Unfortunately, Hawking is afflicted with ALS Syndrome (Lou Gehrig's disease). It will eventually take his life. He has been confined to a wheelchair for years, where he can do little more than sit and think. Hawking has lost the ability even to speak, and now he communicates by means of a computer that is operated from the tiniest movement of his fingertips.

Quoting from an Omni magazine article: He is too weak to write, feed himself, comb his hair, fix his classes--all this must be done for him. Yet this most dependent of all men has escaped invalid status. His personality shines through the messy details of his existence.

Hawking said that before he became ill, he had very little interest in life. He called it a "pointless existence" resulting from sheer boredom. He drank too much and did very little work. Then he learned he had ALS Syndrome and was not expected to live more than two years. The ultimate effect of that diagnosis, beyond its initial shock, was extremely positive. He claimed to have been happier after he was afflicted than before. How can that be understood? Hawking provided the answer.

"When one's expectations are reduced to zero," he said, "one really appreciates everything that one does have." Stated another way: contentment in life is determined in part, by what a person anticipates from it. To a man, like Hawking who thought he would soon die quickly, everything takes on meaning--a sunrise or a walk in a park or the laughter of children. Suddenly, each small pleasure becomes precious. By contrast, those who believe life owes them a free ride are often discontent with its finest gifts.

James Dobson, New Man, October 1994, p. 36.


James 5: 11, “Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.”

An end; that is, in the present connection, a prosperous end; or, a reward, namely, to those that fear God. I do not think Stephen Hawking believes in Jesus as he looks for the answers in science. We can have greater hope than he can.

Proverbs 23:17-19, “Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long. For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off. Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide thine heart in the way.”

An end – an expected and happy end for such as fear God. This life's trouble will soon be over, and then we shall begin our best life. Our hope shall not be ashamed. May the Lord teach us as a family to serve him faithfully, that both here and hereafter we may be blessed.

Our hope for when we see the heathen apparently prosper. The Lord assures us that the prosperity of the wicked will not continue.

Does anyone suffer from too high expectations of themselves?





Does it help you or is it a hindrance?





Expectations of Others

This man was going around door-to-door looking for work. I do not believe he was homeless he just wanted to have some extra money to support his family. He was in a nice part of town and at this one particular house a woman was very excited to see him. She said, ‘Yes you can paint my porch in back. I’ve been waiting for my husband to paint it for over a year now.’ They agreed on a price she handed him the paint and a brush. He went around back to earn his money.

I short period of time later he went around to the front door and let the woman know he was done. She said, ‘Boy, that was fast.’ She thankfully gave him the money they agreed upon. As he was leaving he turned to the woman and said, ‘By the way your car is a Ferrari not a Porsche.’


Do we use the same yardstick to measure others as we judge ourselves? We try to justify it with cleaver words like, ‘Well I’m not judging them I’m discerning them.’ We already go over situations in our head. ‘I bet he forgot.’ ‘I know when I get home she…’

These would be called Self-Fulfilling Prophecies. Let us say a brother crossed me. I say in my heart I have forgiven him, but it is still in the back of my head. Then I find myself being increasingly critical of his actions or of his ministry. ‘See I told you he wouldn’t do that.’

Matthew 7:2, “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.”

From this verse I have learned to worry more about myself. I don’t want others thinking or saying about me what I have thought or said about others.


Still on the topic of Expectations of Others –

A young psychology student serving in the Army decided to test a theory. Drawing kitchen duty, he was given the job of passing out apricots at the end of the chow line. He asked the first few soldiers that came by, "You don't want any apricots, do you?" Ninety percent said "No." Then he tried the positive approach: "You do want apricots, don't you?" About half answered, "Uh, yeah. I'll take some." Then he tried a third test, based on the fundamental either/or selling technique. This time he asked, "One dish of apricots or two?" And in spite of the fact that soldiers don't like Army apricots, 40 percent took two dishes and 50 percent took one!
Bits & Pieces, May 26, 1994, pp. 9-10.


What should our expectations of others be?





Philippians 4:11, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

Contentment is a lesson learned neither in a classroom nor overnight, but through many practical experiences in life.

Can you give testimony of this verse?





“…in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” I believe we are to be content with our selves. Does it do my family any good if I am miserable around the house because I am not content with myself as how I am providing for my family? Ladies does it do your loved ones any good if you are not content with your self?

Our expectations of ourselves hinder our attitudes, behaviors and relationships, as do our expectations of others.

‘If my wife did this I would be happy.’ ‘If my kids did that I would be happy.’ ‘If I made more money I would be happy.’ ‘If we lived in a different house things would be better.’


Two Sayings:

‘Flowers bloom where you plant them,’ and

‘The grass is always greener over the Septic Tank.’


1Timothy 6:8, “And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”

My Study Bible states that, ‘By figure of speech ‘food and raiment’ stand for all of life’s basic necessities. These are all the believers needs and having these we can be content.’


Hebrews 13:5, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

What advice do you get from that scripture?





Does anyone here have need to start applying it today?





Expectations From God

Psalm 62:5, “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.”

Expectation here means ‘hope.’ David was greatly moved by these troubles, therefore he stirs up himself to trust in God. Expectations from men will be disappointed, while expectations from God will be abundantly more than realized.

Proverbs 10:28, “The hope of the righteous shall be gladness: but the expectation of the wicked shall perish.”

The expectation of the wicked shall perish.] A wicked man is always imposing on himself by the hope of God's mercy and final happiness; and he continues hoping, till he dies without receiving that mercy which alone would entitle him to that glory.


Proverbs 11:23, “The desire of the righteous is only good: but the expectation of the wicked is wrath.”

The righteous would have good, only good; all they desire is that it may go well with all about them; they wish no hurt to any, but happiness to all; as to themselves, their desire is not to gratify any evil lust, but to obtain the favour of a good God and to preserve the peace of a good conscience; and good they shall have, that good which they desire,


Psalm 37:4, “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”


Proverbs 24:14, “So shall the knowledge of wisdom be unto thy soul: when thou hast found it, then there shall be a reward, and thy expectation shall not be cut off.”

No possession yields so precious a revenue as wisdom. It makes men rich for time and eternity. A reward – It is not only sweet for the present, but brings a sure and everlasting reward.


What SHOULD be our expectations of ourselves?





Philippians 1:20, “According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death.”

From study Bible, ‘Paul’s hope is, negatively, that he may not be ashamed of Jesus, and, positively, that Christ shall be magnified. When Christ is magnigfied, He is brought into larger, clearer focus on the part of others. They better understand Him, His ways and His will. The Lord is then better loved, obeyed, served and glorified. As a prisoner, Paul remembers that Caesar’s verdict may well go against him, resulting in his execution. So he adds, whether it be by life, or by death. His objective, to magnify Jesus, is of paramount importance; whether it be accomplished by living or dying is immaterial.

We must continue even to the end, with great confidence, having nothing before our eyes except for Christ's glory alone, whether we live or die. That in nothing shall I be ashamed. Whatever may come, whether his bonds lead to death or life, his trust is that the Spirit will give him such boldness that Christ shall be magnified. There is no anxiety about himself, only that he may glorify Christ.


Ephesians 6:19-20, “And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.”


In Conclusion

Knock at no other door but that of thy God. God is one; let thy hopes look towards him alone. A single eye will fill thee with light. For my expectation is from him. We expect from God because we believe in him. Expectation is the child of prayer and faith, and is owned of the Lord as an acceptable grace. We should desire nothing but what would be right for God to give, then our expectation would be all from God; and concerning truly good things we should not look to second causes, but to the Lord alone, and so again our expectation would be all from him. The vain expectations of worldly men come not; they promise but there is no performance; our expectations are on the way, and in due season will arrive to satisfy our hopes. Happy is the man who feels that all he has, all he wants, and all he expects are to be found in his God.

My soul, wait thou only upon God. They trust not God at all who trust him not alone. He that stands with one foot on a rock, and another foot upon a quicksand, will sink and perish, as certainly as he that standeth with both feet upon a quicksand. David knew this, and therefore calleth earnestly upon his soul (for his business lay most within doors) to trust only upon God.

He shifts much needless labour, and provideth great contentment, who closes himself with God alone. To deal with man alone, apart from God, is both an endless and fruitless labour. If we have counsel to ask, help or benefit to obtain, or approbation to seek, there is none end with man: for every man we must have sundry reasons and motives; and what pleaseth one will offend twenty: as many heads, as many wits and fancies. No man can give contentment to all, or change himself into so many fashions, as he shall encounter humours; and yet it is more easy to take sundry fashions than to be acceptable in them. – William Struther.


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