Communicating God's Way - Lesson 8 - With Our Children in Actions

When Are We To Communicate With Our Children?

Deuteronomy 6:7, “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”


Deuteronomy 11:19, “And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”


Psalm 127:1-5, “Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”


Why Are We Doing This?

Verse 1, “Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.”

Except the Lord bless the building it is to no purpose for men to build, any more than for the builders of Babel, who attempted in defiance of heaven, or Hiel, who built Jericho under a curse. If the model and design be laid in pride and vanity, or if the foundations be laid in oppression and injustice …


Habakkuk 2:11-12, “For the stone shall cry out of the wall, and the beam out of the timber shall answer it.Woe to him that buildeth a town with blood, and stablisheth a city by iniquity!”

If God be not acknowledged, we have no reason to expect his blessing, and without his blessing all is nothing. The best-laid project fails unless God crown it with success.


Malachi 1:4, “Whereas Edom saith, We are impoverished, but we will return and build the desolate places; thus saith the LORD of hosts, They shall build, but I will throw down; and they shall call them, The border of wickedness, and, The people against whom the LORD hath indignation for ever.”

Usually, those that rise early do not care for sitting up late, nor can those that sit up late easily persuade themselves to rise early; but there are some so hot upon the world that they will do both, will rob their sleep to pay their cares. And they have as little comfort in their meals as in their rest; they eat the bread of sorrows. It is part of our sentence that we eat our bread in the sweat of our face; but those go further: all their days they eat in darkness,


Ecclesiastes 5:17, “All his days also he eateth in darkness, and he hath much sorrow and wrath with his sickness.”

They are continually full of care, which embitters their comforts, and makes their lives a burden to them. All this is to get money, and all in vain except God prosper them, for riches are not always to men of understanding,


Ecclesiastes 9:11, “I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”

Inordinate excessive care about the things of this world is a vain and fruitless thing. We weary ourselves for vanity if we have it, and often weary ourselves in vain for it,


Haggai 1:6,9, “Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes... Ye looked for much, and, lo, it came to little; and when ye brought it home, I did blow upon it. Why? saith the LORD of hosts. Because of mine house that is waste, and ye run every man unto his own house.”

Bodily sleep is God's gift to his beloved. We owe it to his goodness that our sleep is safe…

Psalm 4:8, “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.”


…and that it is sweet…

Jeremiah 31:25-26, “For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. Upon this I awaked, and beheld; and my sleep was sweet unto me.

God gives us sleep as he gives it to his beloved when with it he gives us grace to lie down in his fear (our souls returning to him and reposing in him as our rest), and when we awake to be still with him and to use the refreshment we have by sleep in his service. He gives his beloved sleep, that is, quietness and contentment of mind, and comfortable enjoyment of what is present and a comfortable expectation of what is to come. Our care must be to keep ourselves in the love of God, and then we may be easy whether we have little or much of this world.

That children are God's gift, If children are withheld it is God that withholds them if they are given, it is God that gives them; and they are to us what he makes them, comforts or crosses.

Children are a heritage, and a reward, and are so to be accounted, blessings and not burdens; for he that sends mouths will send meat if we trust in him.

That they are a good gift, and a great support and defense to a family: As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man, who knows how to use them for his own safety and advantage, so are children of the youth, that is, children born to their parents when they are young, which are the strongest and most healthful children, and are grown up to serve them by the time they need their service; or, rather, children who are themselves young; they are instruments of much good to their parents and families, which may fortify themselves with them against their enemies. The family that has a large stock of children is like a quiver full of arrows, of different sizes we may suppose, but all of use one time or other; children of different capacities and inclinations may be several ways serviceable to the family. He that has a numerous issue may boldly speak with his enemy in the gate in judgment; in battle he needs not fear, having so many good seconds, so zealous, so faithful, and in the vigour of youth,


1 Samuel 2:4-5, “The bows of the mighty men are broken, and they that stumbled are girded with strength. They that were full have hired out themselves for bread; and they that were hungry ceased: so that the barren hath born seven; and she that hath many children is waxed feeble.”

Observe here, Children of the youth are arrows in the hand, which, with prudence, may be directed aright to the mark, God's glory and the service of their generation; but afterwards, when they have gone abroad into the world, they are arrows out of the hand; it is too late to bend them then. But these arrows in the hand too often prove arrows in the heart, a constant grief to their godly parents, whose gray hairs they bring with sorrow to the grave.

1. The human hand without the hand of God is in vain.
2. The human eye without the eye of God is in vain. Or,

1. God is to be acknowledged in all our works.
a) By seeking his direction before them.
b) By depending upon his help in them.
c) By giving him the glory of them.


What Are We Doing With Our Time?

Verse 2, “It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.”

His beloved means the man whom he loves and takes under his protection. The meaning is, that they whom God loves and helps, accomplish easily and successfully the business of the day, and enjoy quiet sleep after it.

“No prayer without work, no work without prayer. “

“By caring and fretting, By agony and fear, There is of God no getting, But prayer he will hear.”

The bread of sorrows.

1. When God sends it, it is good to eat it.
2. When we bake it ourselves, it is vain to eat it.
3. When the devil brings it, it is deadly meat.


What Is Our Greatest Joy?

Verse 3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

Every man who hath children hath not a blessing in them, yet children are a blessing, and some have many blessings in one child. Children are chiefly a blessing to the children of God. --Joseph Caryl.

John Howard Hinton's daughter said to him as she knelt by his death bed: -- "There is no greater blessing than for children to have godly parents." "And the next", said the dying father, with a beam of gratitude, "for parents to have godly children." --Memoir in Baptist Handbook, 1875.


3 John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”

The effects of receiving them as a heritage from the Lord.
a) Parents will trust in the Lord for their provision and safety.
b) Will regard them as a sacred trust from the Lord, of whose care they must render an account.
c) Will train them up in the fear of the Lord.
d) Will often consult God concerning them.
e) Will render them up uncomplainingly when the Lord calls them to himself by death.

The effects of their right training.
a) They become the parents' joy.
b) The permanent record of the parents' wisdom.
c) The support and solace of the parents' old age.
d) The transmitters of their parents' virtues to another generation; for well-trained children become, in their turn, wise parents. --J. F.


What Kind Of Children Are We Bringing Up?

Verse 4, “As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.”

Youth-These he prefers before other children, because they live longest with their parents, and to their comfort and support, whereas children born in old age seldom come to maturity before their parents death.

Well doth David call children "arrows"; for if they be well bred, they shoot at their parents' enemies; and if they be evil bred, they shoot at their parents. --Henry Smith. 1560-1591.

Ø Children are compared to "arrows". Now, we know that sticks are not by nature arrows; they do not grow so, but they are made so; by nature they are knotty and rugged, but by art they are made smooth and handsome. So children by nature are rugged and untoward, but by education are refined and reformed, made pliable to the divine will and pleasure. --George Swinnock, 1627-1673.

"Our children are what we make them. They are represented as arrows in the hand of a mighty man, and arrows go the way we aim them."


How Will We Give Account Of Our Children?

Verse 5, “Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

Such children will be able to stop their adversary’s mouths, when their godly life is maliciously accused before judges.

Well-trained and virtuous children are the best earthly defense and comfort of old age.

Nobody cares to meddle with a man who can gather a clan of brave sons about him.

He who is the father of a host of spiritual children is unquestionably happy. He can answer all opponents by pointing to souls who have been saved by his means.

Many children make many prayers, and many prayers bring much blessing. --German Proverb.

Psalm 18:47, “It is God that avengeth me, and subdueth the people under me.”

To rejoice in personal revenge is unhallowed and evil. That sinners perish is in itself a painful consideration, but that the Lord's law is avenged upon those who break it is to the devout mind a theme for thankfulness. We must, however, always remember that vengeance is never ours, vengeance belongeth unto the Lord, and he is so just and withal so longsuffering in the exercise of it, that we may safely leave its administration in his hands.


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